Corey and I have been married almost 10 years this February. We were married on leap day in 2004 so we have only had 2 “real” anniversaries though!
Men and Women are VERY- super- duper different. That is why God created us to leave our mom and dad and join together. We complete each other in a marriage.
As a wife over these years, have learned three things that my husband needs. These are things that I want my daughters to know so they will have great marriages one day (20 years from now!)
Yeah, like the song! But not just a little bit!
Ep. 5:33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband (emphasis mine)
Men need to be respected. I recently read a book called “For Women Only” by Shaunti Feldhahn. I was opened to a world in my husband’s mind that I did not know existed. One of the points she made was on Respect. If a wife is pointing fun at her husband in front of others- especially other men- they are basically lowered in their status as a man.
Different men need that respect shown in a different way. Some need food on the table as soon as they get home. Some need the house clean and fresh and their slippers laid out. Some need to hear that they are the best provider. We know our man better than anyone! If we are verbally disrespecting him, or rolling our eyes and arguing with him in front of people, he is going to have a harder time showing the love that we so crave.
Colossians 3:18 – Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
I know! I know! I just cussed there! No one likes to hear submit. Especially not women. In this day and age of feminism and equality, women do not want to be told they are secondary. But if we truly love our husbands, we see that being submissive is being a helpmate. We allow them to lead our families and we follow the choices they make.
Men need to feel as though they are in charge. That is the way God created them to be (*AHEM, Adam was created before Eve remember). It is not a bad thing for us to allow our Hubbys to choose things for the family just because. This does not mean we wives are pitiful doormats to be told what to do and where to do! No! It means that we understand that in anything that runs well, there is a President, CEO etc and God is the owner of our family, our hubby is the President and we are the CEO (and the HR rep, the CFO, the Janitor, etc).
When the first three are in order, it is easy to trust. That being said, there are times in a marriage that trust is severely broken. This can be through infidelity or abuse. God is a restorer of all things and if you are reading this and are trying to get past abuse like this- remember a wise person seeks counsel.
If you just want to release your husband more to take the lead, then just let go of the reigns! If you trust that God is sovereign you can trust that He can guide your husband, even if your husband is not currently seeking The Lord. The faith of a wife can win over her husband if she will respect him, submit to him and just trust God for their marriage.
Every day you should make it a point to go out of your way to show respect to your husband.
By showing respect, you will inadvertently be submitting, and as you do that- he will take the lead and will gain your trust!